My neighbourhood friend has been after me for one reason. She wants me to buy an I-phone or any one of those with whatapp kind of applications. She has been telling me that high end phones lets you be in touch with the world (especially friends) twenty four hours. I dont have a problem buying the latest Samsung Galaxy.. the one I have been eying on.. But I somehow can not figure out its utility. I may buy its for its looks, its style, class, for showoff, or its picture quality but for getting socially connected with the friends would be the last reason I will shed my pocket for.
I usually manage to get online daily, in the morning, in the afternoon and sometimes even late night.. During this time, rarely do I find any of my friend messaging me and asking about going on in my life. When I posted my wedding pictures.. I got lot of comments.. like on my appearance and offcourse some sweet comments on my hubby and how we looked as a couple. Well, that was quite nice to read all good things..BUT… I kept wondering… why none of them .. those who liked and commented (offcourse all were my friends, known ones and well wishers)… even for once asked me how was my married life going… why they never cared to pop on chat saying “hey Neha, hope you are not feeling lonely in a new country with a new person in new circumstances..”..
Quite often I write status as per my state of mind.. I wrote status like “I am missing my parents”.. I even wrote ” Its hard to be a good wife..”.. I wrote ” The idleness of being a houseiwfe..”.. Despite very clear expression of feelings.. none of my friends ever thought of a private chat discussion that could have been a moodboaster then.. I managed everything of my own.. Slowly I stopped posting my pictures on social networking sites thinking that those pictures only hold importance for me and no one else. So whats the point in sharing..
…. My best friend is on social networking site. She often blame me for not having whatsapp on my mobile.. probably becuase she feels she cannot talk to me any time of the day. But whats does she have to talk… nothing other than useless “ghar ke kisse.. saas ki burai..”.. sorry talk to you later hubby is back from work”.. kind of stuff.. when it comes to serious talks.. meaningful discussions.. genuine sharing of feelings.. and sharing of some genuine good news../ she is least connected to me.. So whats the point in being connected..
My father is not on social networking sites.. We talk once or twice a week on phone irrespective or international or STD calls rates… But when we talk.. we share genuine feelings.. we are aware of eachothers life despite being miles apart.. If I am not able to express myself on phone, I usually write a small poem and mail it to him and he immediately reads my mind through that poem.. He never gets to see my latest photos as my friends on facebook can, yet he knows I have lost weight.. He does not know that i am missing him yet he calls me right at the moment when I feel lonely.. He says its telepathy.. and he never asked me to buy an expensive phone for whatsapp,, nor did I ever ask him to join social networking sites..
Infact I am really put off with this idea of being connected.. I have a life.. You have a life.. I go and teach in one of the best international universities in the world and post my pictures.. What for ” To make my friends who are housewives or who could dream a life abroad feel jealous”..
You get married, you got a honeymoon and post your pictures in ultra short minis posing intimately with your new found love your husband with a picturesque background with a glass of wine.. what for.. ” to tell the world that you are bold beyond anyone’s expectations.. that You have had the privilege to spend your honeymoon in Europe while many of your friends had to spend the most beautiful time of their life in polluted shimla or distant hills of Manali.. “..
There are few friends of mine whom I really admire.. a colleague of mine.. with a one year old kid who has never taken a sabbatical from working other than a month after her delivery.. who cooks food In the morning.. believes in simplicity and high moral values.. she rarely post anything on facebook.. I have another friend, who lives in Gurgaon.. works as a bio technologist, grounded and humane and never fail to say “Hey, How are you Neha”.. even though the last time we met was some six years..
People who are genuinely concerned about you will find a way to stay connected.. while others despite being connected twently hours will be uncertain about your life.. and your will know the biggets news of their life.. like the news about their pregnancy or marriage only after they post a picture either with their baby or with their hubby..
If you see, a phone call is a much better way of being connected. Even a 5 minutes call, shows the effort that the person has put in to find out about you.. or a good news that is given through a phone call in joyous manner.. or a call from your friend that she is expecting.. or a call from your favourite teacher to congratulate you for your achieveme.. or friend calling from the airport to tell you about her exciting honeymoon.. that won’t sound like vampire trying to make your life misrable.. but maybe her excitement will make your day..
So, I dont want to dishearten my neighbour .. but the truth is I will never buy a smar phone this reason.. Becasue I am not interested in getting connected with with a virtual world of fake well wishes who only seem to be their for a time pass. Though I may buy one for google maps and downloading e books and free viber calls to save money..